|
Post by daveb on Jul 23, 2008 11:27:43 GMT
They were on their way back from Asda
|
|
|
Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 23, 2008 12:27:44 GMT
where apparently their dad had been visiting
|
|
|
Post by Chocolate Chops on Jul 23, 2008 13:32:19 GMT
Freddie the fishmonger
|
|
|
Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 23, 2008 23:19:20 GMT
freddie was telling him about the specials of the day when suddenly
|
|
|
Post by daveb on Sept 22, 2008 15:05:58 GMT
A mad scientist created a big bang and every fooker went down the sink So is it the beginning of the end.
|
|
|
Post by daveb on Sept 22, 2008 15:22:28 GMT
Story Time 2
One day while I was out camping I happened to meet another man who was camping his name was sh*t kicker. Well there he was with his 8 man tent and his little camping stove and sat nav, mp3 player, portable dvd player but there were not 8 men with him to put in his 8 man tent, so he filled his tent with his funny shaped balls he settled for 7 ladies and himself, they all decided to get very drunk on scotch and play rugby. Shinkicker got out his funny shaped ball and the ladies went mad cos they were expecting a normal looking one! Not a one the shape of a lemon but it didn't smell like a lemon it smelt like cow sh*te Now it is very unfortunate to have balls smelling of cow shi*te so poor shinny Went to find a stream to wash his balls in, he gently lowered them into the slow running stream but the water was so cold he got a little bit of a shock when his balls rapidly started to contract. "Oh my God, what are my 7 lady friends going to play with now" he sobbed like the big girl that he is. All of his sobbing soon made the stream break its banks and flood poor shinkickers tent. All 7 ladies jumped onto a small formica table that Shinkicker just happened to take along with him and they floated away down the stream. Shinkicker was amazed that the table could hold the weight of 7 ladies and a bit pissed off that he never got to stand on it and break it before the flood. Now the 7 ladies were sailing away out of owld Shinnys sight and there was no hope of getting a ride unless he could swim after them but that was nearly impossible because of his 12" Welly tops that he was wearing, they could fill with water and he could get sucked off although i'm sure he wouldn't mind but he had other things to think about like what he would eat his tea off now that his table had gone and who would keep him company now that the ladies were gone, so he decided to dry off and head to the nearest pub for a pint and a game of snooker. The shepards pie was the special of the day so he decided to try that out And had a pint of Paddys snake bite to wash it down with. Then out of the corner of his eye he saw this long haired bloke walking towards him, the bar maid was wearing a glass bra the landlord(seymour titt) insisted on this dress code as it brought in the customers. She caught sight of a long grey haired bloke walking towards Shinkicker who by now was quaking in his boots the long haired man changed direction and walked toward the barmaid and ordered a couple of jugs of milk, he couldn't help it he got carried away he asked her name and she said only if you tell me yours first. My names Geordie, Georgegeordie he said Shinkicker overheard the name Georgegeordie and his boots were now shaking with such force that he knocked the table over. The barmaid came rushing over to pick the table back up but tripped over Georgegeordies foot in her haste. As she hit the floor her glass bra shattered to pieces and at that very moment (seymour titt) appeared from nowhere to help the poor bare chested lady up. Georgegeordies eyes nearly popped out of his Crow shaped head And he didn't know which way to look. as geordie attempted to look away he spotted Shinkicker, Geordies heart was now pounding as he moved in for a long and wet fart to escape that followed by a long wet snog and of course an ear shringing, unless Geordie doesn't treat all his fans the same as He treated that dave bloke to a few nights away from the mrs to cure his earache, free ear cleaning was included in the package and Shinkicker wanted the full works He needed a good deep cleansing from head to foot and there was no better person in the world than geordie to help him clean up his act. Everyone in the pub covered their ears as Geordie belted out his favourite tune, he sang his geordie heart out .....OH ME LADS YA SHOULD HAVE SEEN US GANNEN "Passing the folks along the road And all of them were starin'" "Oi shuddup with yer geordie crap" someone shouted "geordies are only scots with their brains kicked in" they continued Geordie and Shinkicker were both insulted at such remarks and both jumped up and down in temper but accidentally landed on the shouters fingers because the shouter had fallen on the ground laughing so hard at the two "grown men" acting like children Geordie and Shinkicker said "We are so not acting like children ner ner na ner ner!" Just then in walked the smallest Irish lass ya have ever seen, she had the biggest pair of dummys in her t-shirt pocket and a plastic bib around her neck She sauntered over to Geordie and Shinkicker and rammed the dummy's into their gobs so hard that they swallowed their false teeth they farted and bit their own arses then they started to talk out of them but that was nothing new because both shinkicker and geordie always talked through their arses mostly about sh*te but sometimes they talked about big round juicy steaks with mash and gravy just then who should walk in the door but Dave and his lovely sis Diane They were on their way back from Asda where apparently their dad had been visiting. Freddie the fishmonger freddie was telling him about the specials of the day when suddenly a mad scientist created a big bang and every fooker went down the sink
So is it the beginning of the end.
|
|