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Post by podge on Jun 14, 2008 21:22:56 GMT
Hey Paddy The weight of an average pair of tits is 1.5kg. Scientists have yet to work out the average weight of a c*nt. So if you could pop on the scales and pm me back... PM sent expect a ban ;D Ah Bollox to you Paddy, Im off to bed to dream about my date
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Post by daveb on Jun 14, 2008 21:26:55 GMT
PM sent expect a ban ;D Ah Bollox to you Paddy, Im off to bed to dream about my date Thats a good idea Podge
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Post by podge on Jun 15, 2008 19:15:50 GMT
A lady wrote to an agony aunt: "I've been engaged to a man for years, but have just found out he has a wooden leg. Do you think I should break it off?"
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jun 15, 2008 19:30:36 GMT
Hey Paddy The weight of an average pair of tits is 1.5kg. Scientists have yet to work out the average weight of a c*nt. So if you could pop on the scales and pm me back... what did i say to you about bad language. get yer arse back to ballydung manor where ya belong
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Post by daveb on Jun 17, 2008 11:40:56 GMT
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Post by podge on Jun 17, 2008 12:17:51 GMT
Breasts lovely arn't they (o)(o) perfect breasts ( + )( + ) fake silicone breast (*)(*) perky breasts (@)(@) big nipple breasts oo A cups { O }{ O } D cups (oYo) wonder bra breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) cold breasts (o)(O) lopsided breasts (Q)(Q) pierced breasts (p)(p) hanging tassels breasts \o/\o/ Grandma's breasts ( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts |o||o| android breasts
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Post by shinkicker on Jun 17, 2008 13:07:15 GMT
;D
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Post by podge on Jun 17, 2008 19:28:05 GMT
Hey Paddy A One For You Paddy and Murphy are at work, Paddy says "Im sick of this job Murphy, Im going to pretend to be mad so I'll get the sack." He hangs upside down from the ceiling and shouts "IM A LIGHTBULB, IM A LIGHTBULB." The foreman comes over and says "your mad Paddy Im going to have to let you go." Two mins later Murphy starts packing up his things, The boss asks him what hes doing. "Well" says Murphy "you've sacked Paddy and I cant work in the dark."
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jun 17, 2008 20:44:18 GMT
Hey Paddy A One For You Paddy and Murphy are at work, Paddy says "Im sick of this job Murphy, Im going to pretend to be mad so I'll get the sack." He hangs upside down from the ceiling and shouts "IM A LIGHTBULB, IM A LIGHTBULB." The foreman comes over and says "your mad Paddy Im going to have to let you go." Two mins later Murphy starts packing up his things, The boss asks him what hes doing. "Well" says Murphy "you've sacked Paddy and I cant work in the dark." Podge mind yer use of graemlins and language. this is a board for everyone
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Post by Chocolate Chops on Jun 17, 2008 21:11:32 GMT
Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of Ireland. The pump attendant, who knows nothing about golf, or Tiger says " Top O the mornin' to yer sir" Tiger nods and bends to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his pocket. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "Thery're called tees, they're for resting my balls on when I'm driving" says Tiger. "Blimey" says the Irishman, "BMW think of everything!" (NO offence meant to any Irish people, I just thought it was hilarious! )
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Post by daveb on Jun 17, 2008 21:28:51 GMT
Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of Ireland. The pump attendant, who nothing about golf, or Tiger says " Top O the mornin' to yer sir" Tiger nods and bends to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his pocket. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "Thery're called tess, they're for resting my balls on when I'm driving" says Tiger. "Blimey" says the Irishman, "BMW think of everything!" (NO offence meant to any Irish people, I just thought it was hilarious! )
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Post by podge on Jun 19, 2008 19:45:38 GMT
Man driving down the road. Woman driving up same road. They pass each other. Man shouts out of window "COW" Woman yells out of window "KNOBHEAD" Woman turns round corner and crashes into a huge cow. If only women would fookin listen.
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Post by podge on Jun 19, 2008 19:49:25 GMT
Paddy walks into a bar and sees this georgeous woman and says "I'd love to get in your knickers." She replied "I've already got an arsehole in there thanks"
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Post by Chocolate Chops on Jun 26, 2008 14:53:35 GMT
Bloke comes in from work to find his wife shagging his best mate. He stabs his friend to death. His wife says " you keep on like that sunshine and you'll have no friends left!"
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jun 26, 2008 21:29:20 GMT
Bloke comes in from work to find his wife shagging his best mate. He stabs his friend to death. His wife says " you keep on like that sunshine and you'll have no friends left!" Well that lived up to the topic title
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Post by daveb on Jun 27, 2008 10:51:27 GMT
My fat alcoholic transvestite mate is really pissing me off. All he ever does is eat, drink and be Mary.
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jun 27, 2008 12:07:58 GMT
My fat alcoholic transvestite mate is really pissing me off. All he ever does is eat, drink and be Mary. oh dear god thats awful. that might even be worse than my nieces pirate joke
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Post by Chocolate Chops on Jun 28, 2008 3:56:55 GMT
Bloke comes in from work to find his wife shagging his best mate. He stabs his friend to death. His wife says " you keep on like that sunshine and you'll have no friends left!" Well that lived up to the topic title I am the QUEEN of crap jokes. Ask Sylv!
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Post by podge on Jun 28, 2008 11:47:11 GMT
Paddy drags a huge box to antiques roadshow in Dublin, and queues up to see an expert. "Where did you get this?" Asks the bloke behind the desk. "It's been in my loft for forty years" replies Paddy, "and I think it must be some kind of family heirloom." "I see" says the expert. "Tell me do you have it insured?" "No" replies Paddy, "Do you think I should have" "Yeah" replies the expert, "It's your fooking water tank!"
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Post by podge on Jul 7, 2008 19:56:48 GMT
Had an e-mail off Miss Crowley and it read "26 bored, looking for some action" So i sent her some ironing, that should keep her busy
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 7, 2008 20:22:07 GMT
Had an e-mail off Miss Crowley and it read "26 bored, looking for some action" So i sent her some ironing, that should keep her busy what did ya send her ironing for when ya don't wash yer clothes or yourself
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Post by rodge on Jul 8, 2008 16:46:14 GMT
My mate Sid has been a victim of ID theft He's just called S now
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Post by podge on Jul 10, 2008 19:59:13 GMT
I walked up the garden earlier and saw next doors dog shagging a cabbage, Silly bastard must have thought it was a collie.
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 10, 2008 20:12:51 GMT
I walked up the garden earlier and saw next doors dog shagging a cabbage, Silly bastard must have thought it was a collie. i'm actually embarrassed for you ;D
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Post by daveb on Jul 10, 2008 20:31:33 GMT
I walked up the garden earlier and saw next doors dog shagging a cabbage, Silly bastard must have thought it was a collie. i'm actually embarrassed for you ;D Jeeeezus will you wack him with some bad karma Im sick of doing it.
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 10, 2008 20:34:51 GMT
nah i'm feeling a little bit charitable
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Post by podge on Jul 10, 2008 20:37:50 GMT
nah i'm feeling a little bit charitable See Paddy ya bastard she knows I need good karma before our date so stick it
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 11, 2008 8:31:36 GMT
nah i'm feeling a little bit charitable See Paddy ya bastard she knows I need good karma before our date so stick it That might need some bad karma
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Post by daveb on Jul 11, 2008 11:54:37 GMT
See Paddy ya bastard she knows I need good karma before our date so stick it That might need some bad karma Up your Podge Try getting rid of that before the 31st September
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Post by podge on Jul 20, 2008 19:16:36 GMT
A three year old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. "Mum" he asked, "are these my brains?" "No not yet" she replied
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