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Post by podge on Jul 3, 2008 17:58:56 GMT
the secure feeling of being wrapped up as tight as a
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Post by daveb on Jul 3, 2008 18:00:47 GMT
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Post by podge on Jul 3, 2008 18:08:42 GMT
The three comrades led her through the door and there waiting for her was
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 3, 2008 21:06:03 GMT
The three comrades led her through the door and there waiting for her was A russian replica of the A team van
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cc2
New Member
Posts: 37
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Post by cc2 on Jul 3, 2008 23:38:18 GMT
But painted on the side instead of the big stripe was...
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Post by shinkicker on Jul 4, 2008 7:12:55 GMT
a little stripe
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 4, 2008 10:41:44 GMT
ah yes the white stripes.....were playing on the stereo
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Post by shinkicker on Jul 4, 2008 12:27:37 GMT
And, being a Russian van, it had another smaller van inside which
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 4, 2008 13:42:51 GMT
had another smaller van inside
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Post by shinkicker on Jul 4, 2008 16:31:27 GMT
Who was singing 'Brown Eyed Girl' and looking grumpy
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 4, 2008 20:59:38 GMT
The three russian ones boo'd and kicked him out
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Post by shinkicker on Jul 5, 2008 6:44:48 GMT
"Get out Van, you grumpy old man, this is a happy van, you've got a lifetime ban"
they sang in unison
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Post by daveb on Jul 5, 2008 9:41:53 GMT
and lived happy ever after.
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Post by podge on Jul 5, 2008 9:42:24 GMT
The End
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Post by Chocolate Chops on Jul 5, 2008 17:25:41 GMT
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Post by daveb on Jul 8, 2008 11:42:05 GMT
Jeezus is that the bloody alarm clock going off already, I can't believe it's time to get up was having a lovely dream too, I was dreaming about the 31st of September when I will be Getting a 50 from that wee Irish lass. Aye she’s going to pay me 50 to take her on the hottest date she's ever been on, we going to the sauna for some hot steamy towels to wrap around ourselves and to soak up the sweat that we will be loosing if Paddy doesn't behave himself by complaining about the heat magazine he bought yesterday. Someone tore out one of the pages and he wasn't happy cos he had ran out of bog rolls and was saving that page to light his fart with. Ya need a big flame for a big fart And Paddy is one of the biggest farts I have ever had the pleasure of knowing to be sure, except maybe for that Shinkicker bloke or maybe Chocolate Chops knows someone very very intimately. Maybe Sol Campbell or.... would she rather have a bar of Chocolate melted on... A huge ice cream sundae That was bought on the Mondae and managed to survive for almost a week without melting because she put it In the coldest place possible which is under Paddy's private Ryan video on top of the freezer, well that was until someone left the freezer door open and giant icicles formed causing a huge puddle on the floor. Chocolate Chops was just about to clean the puddle up when there was a knock on the door, so off she went to answer it, she opened the door and to her surprise there were these 3 men in lovely crisp white jackets bearing gifts of chocolate, bacardi and ice cream all mixed together in the one thermos flask. Well what do you think the drink was called except... Rubonlickoff. Which was named after the chief white coat wearing visitor, a nice Russian 'doctor', Rubonlickoff held out his hand and introduced himself, Àëëî ñåêñóàëüíûé (hello sexy) I am Rubonlickoff and these are my two comrades, Roverknackeroff and Ivalargecocovic. Chocolate chops smiled and she stood there smiling and smiling and smiling until she fainted! Thud! Rubonlickoff got straight down to business and placed Chocolate Chops in the recovery position, Roverknackeroff took off his white coat and placed it over her while Ivalargecocovic just stood there bolt upright. "That's not the recovery position, ya bampot!", said the bolt upright comrade (in Russian) " I vill show the recovery Pozition, Moveski" said the erect one. "Nyet" shouted Rubonlickoff "Lyook at page 7 of thees 1st aid manual I found in madame Chops' dressing gown pcket . . ." Roverknackeroff and Ivalargecocovic looked at the manual, Roverknackeroff made sure her chops were open by nipping her nose while Ivalargecocovic ran to the freezer to get some ice. "So, you are sure that Kamasutra ees Eenglish words for firstaidmanual?" asked Rubonlickoff, looking at the book. "Ah here is a bookmark; maybe that page is the recovery position" Rubonlickoff dropped to his knees and bowed his head. We must save her for she is a holy woman. According to byookmark page she and Mr. Chops are missionaries! Rubonlickoff, Roverknackeroff and Ivalargecocovic looked at each other in amazement. What a position to be in. That was til there was another knock on the door "Chto za huy" shouted Rubonlickoff just as he was about to give Chocolate Chops the kiss of her life time, Choc chops started to come round just as Ivalargecocovic opened the door and there stood the biggest pair of smelliest socks that he could find. But it's to late said Roverknackeroff, Chocolate Chops is coming around now so the socks wont be of any use unless of course she gets such a fright that she passes out again but that wasn't going to happen because Ivalargecocovic was stood over her holding the thermos flask containing the magic mixture of chocolate, bacardi and ice cream that had been shaken but not Stirred. The ice-cream in the mixture was starting to melt and there were a lot of worried faces that it would curdle with the bacardi leaving a smell nastier than those smelly socks. But at the mere mention of the word 'bacardi', Choccichops sprang to her feet and guzzled down the contents of the magic potion. She caught sight of the bolt upright one and blushed saying, "Oh my, he IS a very erect Russian gentleman, isn't he?" The erect one became even more erect at the attention, he was now so erect that he could hardly contain himself and Roverknackeroff distant cousin of the inventor of the glass bra (seymour titt) felt compelled to lie down and have a nice flick through the manual where he discovered something that he'd never seen before. Look what I've found on page 69 said a shocked Roverknackeroff it's a picture of Jimmy Nail and Suzi Dent from Dictionary Corner who was brandishing a jar of peanut butter and a can of whipped cream all mixed together in the one thermos flask they seemed to have a ready supply of thermos flasks as they had bought them in bulk at www.EvilRussianScientistKidnappersSupplies.com where they had gotten a fantastic deal. For every 100 flasks they got a free straitjacket, which Rubonlickoff threw over the blushing Choccichops who struggled initially but eventually succumbed to the secure feeling of being wrapped up as tight as a chocolate bar. The three comrades led her through the door and there waiting for her was A Russian replica of the A team van But painted on the side instead of the big stripe was... a little stripe ah yes the white stripes.....were playing on the stereo And, being a Russian van, it had another smaller van inside which had another smaller van inside Who was singing 'Brown Eyed Girl' and looking grumpy The three Russian ones boo'd and kicked him out "Get out Van, you grumpy old man, this is a happy van, you've got a lifetime ban" they sang in unison and lived happy ever after. The End
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Post by Cliodhna Crowley on Jul 8, 2008 13:51:09 GMT
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